Friday, October 14, 2005

Honestly, I should have cheated

Remember this picture for a week or two ago? I was doing the training program at Sports Authority. Tonight, I did more training, but the smile was missing.
I got to work, and was told to get through as much training as possible that evening, even try to finish it. So, I got prepared, sat down, and started. Every-so-often, I had to get up to go to the bathroom. But, inefficient me, I had to help a customer that asked for it! What kind of an idiot would do that? One customer took awhile to help, and I had to go to the bathroom really bad. What appeared as a smile on my face was actually me clinching my teeth, hoping I would make it to the bathroom. The nice lady kept asking me questions, about Yoga, Pilates, and the Bosu Ball. I answered her questions, and she nicely choose, "Just the Yoga mat for now," I excused myself, then ran for a really good pee. Then, I go back to check on when I should go to dinner. The manager on duty tonight exclaimed, "You're officially the person to take the longest to take the tests."
WHAT?? How can I be the longest? The training program is done on the computer you see in front of me, in a room that is so bitterly cold, it reminds me why I moved to Florida. If you look close, you can even see that my face has turned purple from the chill. The training program is flash based, and some really hokey animated characters named Derek, Amy, and Andrew help you through the training. "Awesome". "You're doing great!" "That's it, keep up the good work." I think they ported the program characters from a previous flash module originally meant for grade school.
The thing is; I followed the training. I couldn't go any faster than the training went.
"Tell me how to speed it up, and I will," I told the manager-on-duty. "It'll probably be like Super Friends, in fast forward."
"I don't know how to make it faster," she replied.
"How can I be the slowest one? I'm going just as fast as the program lets me."
I don't remember what else was said, but I said something to the effect of, "Let me know if you want me to go. If you don't want me here, I'll leave." The back room grew kinda quiet.
Well, I found out how you're suppose to do the program. Evidently, you're suppose to hit the 'next button' all through the training -who needs that- go right to the tests, take the test, then retake them if you score too low.
Stupid me. I was actually going to try to learn about Golf equipment, Football equipment, Baseball equipment, and Soccer equipment. Except for some soccer stuff, I didn't really know much about that others. Okay, I barely knew anything about the others. Ask me about motor learn and skill acquistion theory in those sports, and you'll be trying to find a way out of the room, hours later. I actually sat there and listened to the ridiculous character of Derek, "Awesome," over and over.
Lucily, only the fitness part of the whole training program came next, and I did exactly what I was told; I nexted through the training, and went right to the test. I scored low, mostly because their information on fitness is geared towards defensive litigation, and not fitness. Bascially, it's not designed according to the ACSM guidelines. Low weights, high reps to tone. Yeah, right.
I could have laughed it off, but it really hit a nerve. You see, school and studying has never been my strong point. I can barely sit still for a few minutes, much less through a whole class. My attention span is usually no better than 20 minutes; and that's at best. Self study and self education has been my best method of learning. My own pace. I guess the manager on duty had her own pace she wanted me to go. Anyway, schooling has always been a touchy subject, and while I've rarely ever been in the lowest level of performance in the job world, especially in my profession, I used to always be in the bottom percentile of the class. Failing the class was sometimes actually a good achievement for me. In some of my classes, I think some of the teachers would have given me a negative grade, if they could. I wasn't a bad kid, just 'antsy'. Tonight hit a nerve. Even in school, I never cheated. Some of my teachers asked me, "Why?" Maybe they were hoping some good character trait would arise, but the truth was I was too lazy to even cheat. "Why bother? If I don't know the material, I don't know it."
This time, I did want to know the material, even if I had to listen to the grade school characters of Derek and Andrew. The character of Amy was a bit more of a buy, more realistic.
But, I did like I was advised, and cheated. Now, I feel like shit.
No accountability stuff for today. Get over it.

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