Sunday, June 04, 2006


Over the past few days, pretty much since the last time I posted, all I've really done was catch up in A+ Hardware class. The pressure of a June 4, 2006 11:59pm deadline pushed me to catch up, or I might have actually fallen too far behind. My problem wasn't lazyness, or lack of time management, or ADD style of learning/studying problem. It was my own doubt. I doubted I was doing well in the class. Doubting I was understanding what I needed, that this was 'over my head'. I was avoiding dealing with that. Ignorance isn't bliss when it causes you to be poor and frustrated.

In the last few days, I've boned up, caffinated up, woke up, paced up, obsessed over, stressed over, cussed over, and finished everything I needed to. Within the time I needed. And I did good. Got a 92% of the overall test, so far. I knew the stuff way better than I thought I did.
The problem comes from the perspective that; since it's math, there's so much too it, it's overwhelming. The problem with math, for me, is that the noise of math is so distracting, the obvious infinite nature of it, there's no possible way I could ever understand it. Just too much. Words, languages are finite, and have an acutal capacity. There are only 26 letters in our alphabet, 33 in the Russian Crylic, and I could even deal with the 2500 possible characters in the Chinese script. At least, it's better than infinite possible characters. But with math, for an ADD person, you start to see it everywhere, in everything. It's becomes like load music. Very loud.
Okay, maybe not that bad.

The problem wasn't my math skills, or my knowledge in electronics, it was only in my doubt.

I also gained a learning rhythm from it. A pace. It was weird. Maybe it was the wine.

An obvious congnitive distortion. I wonder how many others do that? I think confidence in the ability to learn, juts like confidence in the ability to move just right in sports, has a lot to do with the outcome. Is it really that obvious?

In Other News
I got Microsoft Windows XP Professional and Ubuntu Linux to boot on this computer. Dual boot. It took me ten freaking tries, folks. Ten freakin tries. It's not easy. I did get it on, and a proceedure to do it. I'm actually noting the procedures of everything I do on these computers. Yes. I know. It's weird. I think it's called Geek. Ugh.

Ubuntu Linux is freakin awesome. It's easy to boot that as your only OS, but it is difficult to dual boot. Ubuntu is the best distro I've tried, so far, and I've tried a few. Easy to use.

If you have old computer, don't throw them out. I just might be able to get them going with a Linux distribution.

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